Cheesy Lyric from Van Halen Makes Worst of All-Time List

Have you ever belted out a song at the top of your lungs, only to cringe later at a particularly cheesy lyric? Well, you’re not alone. A poll by magpiemusic.com compiled a list of the all-time worst song lyrics, featuring some truly cringe-worthy entries.

From odes to breakfast foods (“toast”) to questionable metaphors (“fat kids loving cake”), the list is a hilarious reminder that even the biggest stars can stumble when it comes to crafting meaningful lyrics.

But wait, there’s more! Even legendary rock band Van Halen finds itself in this hall of lyrical shame. Can you guess which line from their iconic “Why Can’t This Be Love” made the cut?

10. “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time” (Van Halen)

Even a song as iconic as Van Halen’s “Why Can’t This Be Love” isn’t immune to a little lyrical cheese. The offender? The line “Only time will tell if we stand the test of time.”

While the sentiment might be relatable, the phrasing lands a bit flat. It’s a little too obvious, lacking the poetic punch you might expect from a heartfelt rock ballad.

But hey, that’s the beauty of music! Sometimes the cheesier moments become part of the song’s charm. After all, who hasn’t belted out this line at the top of their lungs, cheesy factor and all?

9. “She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck” (Sisqo)

Sisqo’s “Thong Song”, a catchy late-90s anthem, isn’t exactly known for its poetic depth. But one lyric, in particular, takes the cringe factor to new heights: “She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck”.

This line, aiming for a compliment, uses a rather crude metaphor to describe a woman’s physical attributes.  While the song is undeniably fun and danceable, this particular line landed a spot on the atrocious poll.

Of course, some might argue that the very cheesiness of the line adds to the song’s overall lighthearted and playful vibe. After all, “Thong Song” isn’t exactly aiming for a Grammy in lyrical mastery.

8. “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains” (Shakira)

Shakira’s global smash hit “Whenever, Wherever” isn’t without its quirks. One lyric in particular has raised eyebrows for years: “Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains.”

This line, intended perhaps to be playful and self-deprecating, falls flat on multiple levels. It reinforces unrealistic beauty standards and relies on a clunky metaphor.

However, some fans argue that the line’s very awkwardness adds a layer of endearing weirdness to the song. After all, “Whenever, Wherever” is known for its unconventional lyrics and energetic spirit.

7. “You got a Prada bag with a lotta stuff in it” (Will Smith)

Remember that infectious dance craze that swept the nation in the late 90s? Will Smith’s “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” was the soundtrack, with its irresistible beat and playful energy. But rewind a moment to that verse describing a woman on the dance floor. She’s got the moves, the confidence… and apparently, a Prada bag “with a lotta stuff in it”?

This lyric attempts to showcase the woman’s wealth and style, but it falls short. It’s generic and lacks detail, failing to paint a vivid picture.  

However, some might argue that the simplicity of the line complements the song’s overall lighthearted and fun vibe. After all, “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” is a song about having a good time, and for many, that fringy line just adds to the carefree feel.

6. “Time is like a clock in my heart” (Culture Club)

Culture Club’s “Time (Clock Of The Heart)” might be a beloved new wave classic, but one lyric has raised questions about its metaphorical depth. The line in question? “Time is like a clock in my heart.”

While the sentiment aims to capture the internal feeling of time passing, the comparison to a literal clock feels a bit clunky. It doesn’t quite evoke the complex emotions or experiences we associate with the passage of time.

However, music appreciation is subjective. Some listeners might find the straightforwardness of the metaphor endearing, a way to express a complex feeling in simple terms.

5. “I love you like a fat kid love cake” (50 Cent)

Even gangsta rappers with a tough-guy persona can have a soft spot for cheesy metaphors. Take 50 Cent’s hit song “21 Questions”, a song known for its smooth R&B vibes and introspective lyrics.

But nestled amongst the questions about love and commitment, there’s one line that stands out for its, well, lack of sophistication: “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”

This comparison, intended to express intense affection, relies on a cliche and doesn’t quite capture the emotional depth of love. However, some fans might argue that the very cheesiness of the line adds a certain charm to the song.

4. “He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?” (Avril Lavigne)

Lavigne’s pop-punk anthem “Sk8er Boi” is a nostalgic earworm for many, capturing the angst and rebellion of teenage life. The song tells the story of a popular girl who rejects a skater boy, only to regret it later when he becomes a rockstar. But the opening lyric “He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?” drew some eye rolls.

While the line might be intended to be tongue-in-cheek, it feels a bit redundant and even condescending. The song’s entire premise revolves around the differences between the two characters, so this line feels unnecessary. 

But the line’s bluntness adds to the song’s overall charm, as fans would say. “Sk8er Boi” isn’t aiming for Shakespearean sonnets. It’s a straightforward song about teenage crushes and missed opportunities, and the simplicity of the line might resonate with listeners who appreciate Avril Lavigne’s signature brand of pop-punk rebellion.

3. “Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer?” (Nelly, P Diddy and Murphy Lee)

Nelly’s early 2000s hit, “Shake Ya Tailfeather” featuring P. Diddy and Murphy Lee, is a party anthem known for its infectious beat and playful energy. It’s a call to the dance floor, urging everyone to get loose and have a good time.

But amidst the rhythmic verses and catchy hooks, one line throws listeners for a loop: “Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer?”

This attempt at a compliment is undeniably out there. The metaphor, comparing a woman’s backside to a reindeer’s rear end, is not exactly the most elegant.

2. “I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear the most, I’d rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news” (Des’ree)

Well, Des’ree sure isn’t aiming for a Grammy in lyrical depth in “Life”. This song was a massive hit in the late 90s, known for its upbeat tempo and quirky lyrics. And in the playful observations about life and superstitions, one verse offers an unconventional approach to the supernatural.

The line, “I don’t want to see a ghost, it’s a sight that I fear the most, I’d rather have a piece of toast, watch the evening news”, feels a bit forced and undermines the supposed fear of the paranormal. The line’s simplicity borders on childish, earning a spot in the poll.  It serves as a reminder that even catchy pop anthems can have moments where the lyrics miss the mark in terms of sophistication.

Well, it didn’t really degrade its catchy pop goodness as “Life” is a lighthearted and relatable song about everyday fears and preferences, and for some, the image of choosing toast over a ghost might be endearingly silly.

1. “I’m serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer” (Snap!)

The dance floor anthem “Rhythm Is A Dancer” by Snap! might be a catchy tune, but its line “I’m serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer” landed it on this list of terrible music lyrics.  This insensitive metaphor comparing rhythm to a serious illness raised eyebrows, especially with criticism from family and health groups.

However, that didn’t stop the song from dominating the charts in 1992.  It spent a whopping six weeks at number one, even finding success in Germany and France, and breaking into the US top five. The song’s infectious energy proved powerful, and it even enjoyed a recent resurgence after featuring in a commercial.

While the lyrics might be questionable, “Rhythm Is A Dancer” remains a global hit, and the controversial line itself has even been adopted by some hip-hop artists.