11 Worst Lyrics In Rock Guaranteed To Make You Cringe
We’re So Confused Right Now
There are some things we’ll never understand in this world and one of them is why some lyrics just don’t make any sense no matter how you look at it. There are songs that are so deep, they make you think. Then, there are those which are so ridiculous you end up getting the Forest Whitaker eye.
1. Jon Bon Jovi – “Wanted Dead or Alive”
“And I walk these streets, a loaded six string on my back
I play for keeps, ’cause I might not make it back
I’ve been everywhere, and still I’m standing tall
I’ve seen a million faces and I’ve rocked them all…”
Jon Bon Jovi isn’t exactly known for songs that require you to think deeply. We love their classic hits but lyric-wise, well there are some we find too cheesy and in this case, it doesn’t make any sense. We just get this vision of a bad ass rocker walking down the street carrying his guitar. We can only assume he’s a street musician. Other than that, well, we don’t know anything else. We actually feel like a toddler who only recently learned the ABCs then suddenly given ‘The Lord of The Rings’ trilogy book. Yes, we’re as confused as that. Nevertheless, Ritchie Sambora’s face-melting guitar solo totally saved this.
2. David Lee Roth – “Just Like Paradise”
“I got the itch and a restless soul
She gone with the wind, gonna go for broke tonight, yeah
And that’s (all night)”
So, what did we just read again? For the record, David Lee Roth is an incredible musician with an incredible set of pipes. This song rocks, maybe just don’t look at the lyrics. To be fair, like ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’, this one was huge back in the day. And the tune has that feel-good, happy-go-lucky vibe which we enjoy. It’s the kind of track we want to plug in when going for long drives because it somehow manages to put us in a good mood every single time. Then again, who needs anything deep when this track is all about having fun, right? Sorry, we hate being the party poopers but it is what it is. Hey, it may not have the best lyrics in rock but it’s still an amazing music.
3. Van Halen – “Why Can’t This Be Love?”
“I tell myself
Hey only fools rush in and only time will tell
If we stand the test of time”
Did you ever experience seeing some nice clothing at the mall? Then when you get closer, you see all the stitches visible? Well, that’s a lot like this. Let’s be fair, this song is rad – the beat, the riffs are excellent. We will give credit where it’s due so we’ll admit this is kick ass and it brings lots of awesome memories from the ‘80s. That is, of course, as long as you don’t think about the lyrics too much. Then, we’re good. And hey, it really stood ‘the test of time’ (they released it more than 30 years ago) so we can safely assume that time did tell, right? Lol. We love the tune, the guitar sounds and pretty much everything except the lyrics. Yep, we’re done here now.
4. Aerosmith – “Pink”
“Pink as the bing on your cherry
Pink ’cause you are so very
Pink it’s the color of passion
‘Cause today it just goes with the fashion”
In Steven Tyler’s defense, who’s one of the writers by the way, they did well on the rhyming department. And we’re guessing you already know what ‘Pink’ is referring to – it’s suggestive and Tyler isn’t even remotely shy about it. It’s a bit underrated compared to their other hits and while we like the beat and rhythm done in typical Aerosmith fashion, we’re not big fans of the lyrics. We’re not sure if they wrote this high or drunk. Either way, it seems like a cornucopia of crazy ideas – put in anything as long as it rhymed and hey, always start with the word ‘Pink’ just in case people forget it’s the title. But the song’s still fun and weird (in a good way).
5. ZZ Top – “Sleeping Bag”
“Let’s go out to Egypt ’cause it’s in the plan,
Sleep beside the pharoahs in the shifting sand.
We’ll look at some pyramids and check out some heads.
Oh, we’ll whip out our mattress ’cause there ain’t no beds.”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is why it’s very crucial to always carry a sleeping bag around more importantly if you’re travelling, hence the title. You’ll never know when you’re going to need one. Besides, when you agree to sleep on the sand, you can’t expect a comfy foam mattress to magically appear out of nowhere. Really now, the boys from ZZ Top are just reminding you to always be ready for anything – yes, including and most especially a sleeping bag. We don’t have any other problem with the song (the bass lines are epic by the way) but both the music video and lyrics just confuse the heck out of us.
6. The Killers – “All These Things That I’ve Done”
“When there’s nowhere else to run
Is there room for one more son….
I got soul, but I’m not a soldier”
Here’s another line from the song, “If you can’t hold on, hold on.” Well that’s a really sound and useful advice, lol. Just so you know, we’re not making this up. If anyone can explain what’s going on in the lyrics (and maybe the official music video too), we’d appreciate it. The first time we heard this, we were like, “What did he just say?” It makes you wonder how high Brandon Flowers was when he wrote this. Nevertheless, this was critically acclaimed and Sara McDonnell from online music magazine MusicOMH even said that it has “’classic song’ written all over it.” We totally agree with that – you won’t ever get bored listening to this. But let’s be honest, you can’t really blame us for being so confused.
7. Metallica – “Frantic”
“My lifestyle (Birth Is Pain)
Determines my death style (Life Is Pain)
A rising tide (Death Is Pain)
That pushes to the other side (It’s All The Same)”
We like the song because in all honesty, it’s really good. Fans are quite divided when it comes to Metallica’s St. Anger album though – according to Ian Watson in NME, “…the songs are a stripped back, heroically brutal reflection of this fury. You get the sense that, as with their emotional selves, they’ve taken metal apart and started again from scratch. There’s no space wasted here, no time for petty guitar solos or downtuned bass trickery, just a focused, relentless attack.” It just didn’t click to some of them but we still think it’s underrated. There’s a raw quality about it which we think is what makes it great. Oh and anyway, the solo on this track is pretty amazing. The riffs are awesome too but the lyrics are an entirely different story.
8. Quiet Riot – “Let’s Get Crazy”
“Wanna kiss your lips, not the ones on your face
Your innocent jive is really out of place”
This is some seriously good stuff from a seriously stellar rock band. They’re comparable to other legendary rockers of their time and we like plenty of songs on their catalog too. In fact, we love this tune. The thing is, it’s not the total package given that the lyrics aren’t exactly that deep to begin with. Well, that’s kind of obvious. Whatever it is you’re thinking, then yes that’s the meaning. It actually makes Aerosmith’s ‘Pink’ sound a bit more innocent – just a little though. But for the record, this isn’t the first time Quiet Riot has some pretty dirty words in their songs. They even covered one track with a seriously controversial title which you probably already know! Then again, it was one of the greatest heavy metal songs back in the ‘80s so it’s all good.
9. Neil Diamond – “I Am… I Said”
“”I am”… I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair”
We love, love, love Neil Diamond. He has so many classic hits that we find it hard to pick one ultimate favorite. This one is a great song too and it even received multiple positive reviews from critics. It’s a lovely pop rock track which took Diamond four months to finish. It’s definitely not lacking in emotion given that it was about his therapy in Los Angeles. He said, “It was consciously an attempt on my part to express what my dreams were about, what my aspirations were about and what I was about. And without any question, it came from my sessions with the analyst.” But there are parts of the track we’re not head-over-heels in love with and it includes some of the lyrics. Well just check it out for yourself.
10. Lou Reed and Metallica – “Pumping Blood”
“If I waggle my ass like a dark prostitute
Would you think less of me”
We just collectively rolled our eyeballs so hard we could see our brains. And you should check out our WTF faces and how confused we look right now. The riffs are interesting enough but that couldn’t save how bad the lyrics are. The first time we heard it, we cringed and wished we could un-hear everything. Okay, first things first, this is a track from Lulu which is a collaborative album between Metallica and Lou Reed. According to SputnikMusic’s Joseph Viney, “The fallout from this could have dire consequences. A lot of people, already placing Metallica at the best seat in the house at the Last Chance Saloon have now called last orders. It’s genuinely difficult to guess what their next move will be. As for Reed, his legacy, whatever that means in his case, is cemented and this will have no real effect on him.” And that pretty much sums up everything. Listen to the entire song and you might be left speechless.
11. Def Leppard – “Pour Some Sugar On Me”
“Love is like a bomb, baby, c’mon get it on
Livin’ like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin’ like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?”
This is one of Def Leppard’s greatest tunes and a real masterpiece at that. In fact, it ranked 2nd on VH1’s list of “100 Greatest Songs of the 80s” and well, that says a lot. This is the kind of hard rock music we like putting on loop. And boy, does it make you feel nostalgic! It reminds of those days when music was this good. Almost everything here is excellent except for… you guessed it, the lyrics. For one moment though, we thought ‘radar phone’ was ‘red iPhone.’ That would’ve been extra cool, don’t you think? Lol. Oh and let’s not forget to acknowledge Rick’s flawless performance behind the kit. He is one heck of a legend.