10 Bad Songs From 1969 That Became Hits

1969. Woodstock. The moon landing. A cultural revolution in full swing. It wasn’t all peace, love, and good vibes though. Lurking beneath the surface of this iconic year were the early warning signs of a musical shift.

Bland, uninspired pop-rock was gearing up to dominate the airwaves, a trend that would quickly fade but pave the way for the cheese-laden ballads of the 70s. The following are 10 chart-topping clunkers from 1969 that somehow managed to worm their way into our ears.

Prepare yourselves for repetitive melodies, saccharine lyrics, and a distinct lack of edge. We’ll be revisiting these one-hit wonders (or should we say one-hit blunders?) and exploring what made them so popular, even if their appeal hasn’t exactly aged like a fine wine.

10. “Mr. Sun, Mr. Moon” by Paul Revere & the Raiders

Paul Revere & the Raiders’ “Mr. Sun, Mr. Moon” is a frustrating listen. It has all the ingredients for a fun, upbeat song: a catchy melody, a unique fingerpicking section, and a positive vibe. However, the song never quite takes flight.

The vocals, while distinct, lack memorability, and the melody, though pleasant, fails to grab hold. Even the fingerpicking interlude, promising a “Good Vibrations” moment, feels out of place. “Mr. Sun, Mr. Moon” isn’t terrible, but its near misses and wasted potential leave the listener wanting more.

9. “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies

“Sugar, Sugar”, the Archies’ biggest hit, is emblematic of the band’s entire musical legacy: inoffensive yet uninspired. While the Archie Comics franchise itself has enjoyed enduring popularity, “Sugar, Sugar” fails to capture that same spark.

The song relies on a repetitive keyboard riff and monotonous vocals, offering nothing new to the love song genre. The lyrics, with lines like “I just can’t believe the loveliness of loving you”, are uninspired at best. “Sugar, Sugar” may not be the worst bubblegum pop song, but it leaves the listener wanting something with a little more flavor.

8. “I’m Gonna Make You Mine” by Lou Christie

After the excruciating “Two Faces Have I”, Lou Christie showed a flicker of progress. “I’m Gonna Make You Mine” may not be a masterpiece, but it’s a vast improvement on its predecessor. Christie himself tones down the ear-splitting falsetto, though his normal voice remains unremarkable.

However, the true culprit here is the grating chorus. The overbearing backing vocals, reminiscent of Peggy March’s “I Will Follow Him”, amplify the song’s central problem: the narrator’s desperate pursuit comes across as creepy and unwanted. “I’m Gonna Make You Mine” may be marginally better than “Two Faces Have I”, but it’s still a song best left forgotten.

7. “Little Woman” by Bobby Sherman

“Little Woman” by Bobby Sherman is a textbook example of a condescending love song.  Sherman lectures his unnamed “Little Woman” to abandon her dreams and join his world, with no justification for his controlling behavior.

The song focuses solely on his needs, painting him as the rational partner and her as an illogical dreamer. The forgettable melody and instrumentation fail to distract from the song’s core problem: a narrative that’s both unconvincing and unpleasant. “Little Woman” leaves the listener with nothing but a bad taste in their mouth.

6. “Love Me Tonight” by Tom Jones

“Love Me Tonight” showcases a conflicted Tom Jones. The minor-key melody and dramatic Italo-pop arrangement hint at the power Tom excels at, but the lyrics fall flat. Jones wrestles with an uninteresting love song, failing to capture the drama promised by the music.

Interestingly, “Love Me Tonight” foreshadows a coming trend. This song embraces the variety-show schmaltz that would dominate the 70s. Its sound feels more at home in the next decade, and it wouldn’t be surprising if future pop-soul and lounge acts drew inspiration from it.  However, while it may be ahead of its time, crediting Tom Jones with paving the way for Barry Manilow isn’t exactly a compliment.

5. “Worst That Could Happen” by Johnny Maestro & The Brooklyn Bridge

Johnny Maestro & The Brooklyn Bridge’s “The Worst That Could Happen” takes self-pity to a whole new level. This song is a whiny monologue about an ex-girlfriend’s upcoming wedding.  The chorus revolves around his own pain, completely disregarding her joy. 

Adding insult to injury, the lyrics reveal the narrator isn’t heartbroken because he loved and lost, but because she found someone who’d commit to a future he wouldn’t. The over-the-top theatrics of the music clash with the petty lyrics, making “The Worst That Could Happen” a truly unpleasant listening experience.

4. “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again” by Tom Jones

Tom Jones’ “I’ll Never Fall in Love Again” is a contender for his worst vocal performance ever.  This “ballad” features Tom gasping and sighing throughout, completely overpowering the song’s original country sincerity. Imagine a love song punctuated by dramatic breaths and pseudo-sexual noises – that’s what you get with Tom’s rendition.

One can only hope the released version was significantly shorter than the original four minutes, sparing listeners the full brunt of this aural assault. Thankfully, Dionne Warwick released a far superior version of the same song later that year, proving a love song doesn’t need theatrics to be effective.

3. “Gitarzan” by Ray Stevens

Ray Stevens’ “Gitarzan” is a baffling success story. Released nearly three years after the novelty song fad peaked, it somehow clawed its way back to the top of the charts. What made this song, a prime example of the genre’s silliness, so popular?

The answer: not much. Despite the title, there’s no impressive guitar work – just a generic country lick at the end of each chorus. The “humor” relies on groan-worthy puns and a barrage of forgettable rhymes. While there’s a hint of cleverness in the layered choruses, it’s buried under the song’s overall clumsiness and self-satisfied attitude.

2. “This Girl is a Woman Now” by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap

After the previous year’s controversial “Young Girl”, hope flickered that Gary Puckett & The Union Gap might improve. However, “This Girl Is a Woman Now” dashes those hopes. Though written by a different hand than “Young Girl”, the song retains a disturbingly similar feel. A ballad praising a girl’s transition to womanhood carries undeniable and uncomfortable subtext.

Puckett’s vocals, perhaps influenced by the slower tempo, delve into melodramatic territory reminiscent of Tom Jones’ most bombastic moments. There’s a silver lining, though. Rumor has it that after this song, the band grew tired of manufactured pop and sought artistic control.   While “This Girl Is a Woman Now” is a misstep, their later rebellion for better music is at least commendable.

1. “Hair” by The Cowsills

One doesn’t need to be a music fan to really cringe on this one. Recordings strip away the visuals, leaving overblown theatrics. The Cowsills’ “Hair” is a prime example. Their shouty cover retains the in-your-face delivery that plagues musical recordings.

Though a pop cover (unlike the boring “Good Morning Starshine”), “Hair” loses its magic outside the show. This song, meant to be brief and simple, becomes a shallow portrayal of a hippie.  It tries to mock and accept his long hair, but ends up meaningless. Having fielded hair comments myself, “Hair” just makes me wish everyone would chill.